Confessions of... Confessions of A Restricted Caller The Moron Always Rings Twice I recently met a boy I liked. But he’s an actor, recently out of a relationship and Canadian. After two months of “hanging out” and learning that he was in fact dating an alien cyborg, I moved on. The problem is, my phone has not.
I really should go through and delete a few of the two hundred and fifty contacts in my cell phone. But what if I have an emergency and suddenly need to call Tyne Daly? And what are the chances that I’ll find myself in San Francisco and need to get a massage from that guy in the Castro? Or even worse… what if that guy that looks just like Lou Perlman (the pedophile who created all those boy bands), who I met at the Abbey over after my tenth martini (nearly a year and a half ago) calls? AGAIN? I need to know to NOT answer the phone.